Bitch please.

I have a huge dislike for the girls who think they know what being an army wife is all about as well as dating one "army guy" and thinking they are all like that. I also hate that term, but it comes with the territory. If you date a guy employed by the military for a couple months you automatically think you know how hard it is, how much you guys have been through together, how you have supported him through so much. GET A CLUE. I have been with Mr. M for almost 5 years and I still learn something new every week about what it's like to live in this kind of lifestyle. We aren't even married yet for heaven's sake. I stand by him through thick and thin and he bends over backwards for me. When you love someone it doesn't matter what their job is. If you care enough to stick by them no matter what, and that goes both ways, then you are golden. Relationships are hard no matter what kind of career you have. 

Ug. Ok. End Rant. 

Happy St. I havearealjobnowandcan'tdrink Day!

So, I'm a grown up now?
I went to work from 10 to 5 then a food safety course ( I make the children's snacks and prepare lunches for about 3 hours in total a day) from 6:30 to 9:30. Then came home and cleaned up a bit.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Not.

I am dissapointed in the fact I did nothing. Well, I had a glass of wine and went on twitter. That's definitely not nothing - and will also explain any grammatical or spelling errors in this post. Please forgive me.

As you know, or don't but will now, I ordered my pole finally! It arrived about 2 weeks ago and I have been practising like mad. I love it. I missed it so much, it's such amazing exercise since it works muscles throughout your entire body. Plus it makes you feel incredibly sexy, even if you don't get it for those purposes. My pole spins too, which is super fun! You can unlock it and lock it. I bought mine from: X-Pole Not to advertise for them or anything, but just a good safe pole.

Some serious business. I need some work. Some mental work. I am trying to make myself focus on me for awhile. It's not Mr. M and I. After all we have been through in the last year we are better than ever! Which is lovely, but I feel not quite right about myself. I have a lot of old issues and new issues I am having trouble dealing with. Slowly I am figuring out what they are and what I should do with them. The largest one is self-esteem, and second is jealousy. If someone says something to me I find hurtful I think about it for days and vow to fix myself. Meanwhile, if there are girls around that are prettier than me my self-esteem dips plus I go through a whole thing in my head of how Mr. M probably thinks they are so much prettier than me and wished I looked a certain way. We have been together 4 years and I should NOT feel this way anymore... but I do. That is stupid.

I just want to be as confident as everything thinks I am. Is that too much to ask?

That is quite a load of honesty. I'm contemplating posting this...as anyone can read this and I prefer certain people not to know my weaknesses. I will post this though because -

N-n-now that that don't kill me, Can only make me stronger

Bam.

Oh Kanye, you'd know alllllll about that wouldn't you?

Aren't you so excited you can rock out now, after all that negativity? Me too, me too.

Sigh.

Well, it's 1:30 am somehow. I should probably try to go sleep.

Much love to you bloggers, thanks for "listening"

Tmo

Some "He's home tomorrow" & a side of "I'm vain, F*&%"

Mr. M comes home tomorrow evening! So the house is close to being clean...RIGHT! HA! So not clean. I AM working on it though. Those close to me do not believe me, but I'm not lying. Really. Really.

Anyway! I just watched the movie Jennifer's Body with Meaghan Fox. It was actually more dark humour making fun of horror movies than scary. Which I am glad for, since I have one more night alone...dun dun duuuuhhhhh. 

I also realized today, as I was staring in the mirroir, that I am totally vain!! My mom always used to make fun of me for looking in the mirroir all the time. Mr. M does now, as well as a few friends. It's not like I'm staring in the mirroir thinking to myself -

"Oh. M. G. Look at that hot piece of ass right there. What a gorgeous human being I am. They should make a friggen statue of me. WHY HAVEN'T THEY?!"

It's more like -

"Oh. M. G. I need to tighten that thing up asap & Does it really actually look like that!? WHY HAS NO ONE GIVEN ME A PAPER BAG to put over my hideous face?!"

Ok. Well, not quite that bad. I have a lot of people call me skinny. Well, that's all good and fine, but skinny people have insecurities too. 

Well, now that I have bestowed some of my wisdom on you, you can go away a better person for knowing this.

I think I should probably go to bed. I am sorry for yelling at you.

Love to you boggers.

Tmo

22 days later...

Not so hot anymore! It's COLD! Hellloooooo Autumn...

So this cold brought on hurricane Igor, which wrecked a little havoc on Newfoundland. So Mr. M has to go help since that is part of what the army does. I'm being a little selfish, because I really don't want him to go. The tour is a little too fresh for me and I feel my state of mine will not co-oporate with a couple of weeks of him gone. I assume once he leaves I'll be ok, but right now it's a little much.

I will keep myself busy and eventually he'll be back, then he'll go again, come back, then go again, then it'll be Christmas.

I"M SO EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS!

He's going to miss my birthday. :(

LA - di - Daaaa.

Love,

T-Mo

Lovely Long Weekend + A Tiny Rant

Beautiful long weekend! Friday night Mr. M and I stayed at the lake and woke up to find a already super hot sunny day outside. Then off to my Mommy and her guy's annual party. They have a pool, a band, and half of my town come out. It's always a good time. Sunday was a lazy day at home for us. Monday we escaped to the beach in a city an hour and a half away with some friends. Overall, great long weekend.

In other news, I'm apparently a terrible person. For a person who does not enjoy drama or conflict I have had way too much of it lately. Over nothing. Sometimes people think they have the whole story, but they don't. I had a good laugh over the fact that I got told I "no longer talk to a friend of mine" when I do and my "fiancee is a prick" which I have never been told in my life. So, if he is, can my friends please alert me immediately. I refuse to be engaged to a prick. Who am I kidding? I love my Mr. M the Prick.

This is the last you'll hear of this, since I have moved past it rather fast and it made me laugh more than it made me mad.

However, if you do think badly of me for whatever reason don't just ignore me, at least tell me why you are.

Sigh.

Back to living happily in my non-drama life. & a 4 day work week this week! Hell ya!

By the way - I realize my last post was on the verge of being absolutely pathetic. Please forgive me. I have come to realize it's not the amount of friends you have, it's the quality. I was just used to having a crazy amount of friends.

Now off to work, then photoshoot tonight!

Love,

Tmo

*^@?$$&%^??@&^&

Flight Delayed by 24 hours.
Tomorrow night now.

Fuck.

(Sorry for the language, but I feel so very angry at this happening.)

Mr. M called me at 3:00am, being woken up at this time of night coupled with the news kind of made me cry super hard. I realized this morning my window was open. fml.

On the brighter side - It's only a day away, which is not a month or week, just a day. I can do a day. I have done over 200 days so far, What's one more?

Tmo

Sigh. I don't usually have days lately where I sit and do nothing. Today I worked from 8 til 12:30, then...nothing. I did absolutely nothing all day. Scratch that, I called to get house insurance, then did nothing all day. It's odd because I didn't like it, which I usually love to sit and do nothing. Lately I'm anxious, I have a lot to do so I shouldn't of just sat and did nothing. Barrrrrg. Also, I'll tell you a secret...I cried today. I couldn't tell you the last time I cried. My boyfriend's in Afghanistan and I can't tell you the last time I've cried, I have got to be the weirdest person I know. I just don't let myself. I'm too busy to cry. I have a headache too and I feel sick, I should really go to bed.

Ohohohoh! First - I recently went to a Hedley concert and visited my bff in Halifax! It was an amazing weekend and definitely something I needed! I bought the dress I think I'm going to wear when Mr. M comes home, which is incredibly soon! I bought a print of a painting of the Harbour for our bathroom too!

PMQ in 8 days! I am so excited, and I wasn't too stressed until today. I am having trouble finding a fridge and a stove, I'm not super worried yet though. I will survive, I've made it this far.

My mom recently wrote me a letter...it sort of scared me I guess. She talks about money issues

and how I need to be independant. How she's worried about what happened last time Mr. M and I moved in together...we broke up, but got back together a month later. It's different this time though, we are older, wiser, more mature in our arguments. Everyone fights about money, it's how you go about the fighting that matters. Ug. I need sleep.

This was a lot of complaining, I am sorry. I need sleep and a good day tomorrow then I'll give this blog a happy post.

Goodbye 2009, Hellooooo 2010!

It's so very odd to me that right now it's 2010. It always seemed like a far away dream, at the time Mr. M deployed, that January 2010 would even come. Yet, it's now 12:47 am, Saturday, January 2nd. Life never ceases to amaze me. I now have to get through January, February, March, April - then May 1st I'll be able to move into the cute little bungalow pmq dreamhouse. *sigh* He'll then be home sometime around the very middle of May! Four point five months more of this crazy waiting game I landed in until I get to cash in my prize of my hunny being home.

Awhile ago I wrote this list of things I wanted to accomplish while Mr. M was gone. I have, in 2 months, done all of that. So my current goal is to just keep doing what I've been doing, because it seems to be working well for me.

Blog Interrupted By:

MILITARY GIRLFRIEND RANT

I WANT A HUG

I'm having a moment, sorry. It's harder this time around, him leaving again. He was home for his HLTA for 20 days after being gone for 2 months and letting him go again was just the worst feeling ever. He's already been gone a week...I need my routine back. There are also scary grinding noises that the truck has been making over the past two days. I'm taking it to get looked at tomorrow. Please let nothing else go wrong.

Also, 3 days ago, 4 canadian soldiers died. May they rest in peace.

Sorry for that - I'm done now.

THE END

In happy news I found a dress I had to strongly resisted the urge to get - Etsy is getting to me.

VintageFrocksOfFancy

It's soooo loverly.

Loverly. Do you know what that wonderful word is from? I got it for Christmas to add to my collection! It's my new fav Audrey movie.

I need sleeeeeeep. I will write soon. I'm planning on doing a post like my dear friend Plaid Guru seen here. So watch for that!

Love to you all.

TJayne.

Arg.

I'm a little bittie stressed out. I have to pack - but in order to do that I need to do a wash. I also have to wrap some gifts. It doesn't seem like that much but I leave tomorrow afternoon for N.S. for 6 days. It's 6:30. I'm such a procrastinator. Blah. On to happier things.

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I want to start watching Gossip Girl - I feel I would love it. Downloading the 1st season after Christmas.

I get to see Mr. M tomorrow. That is a happy thing. I need clothes to wear though. Arg.

I won't be posting for the next little while. I'll try...but don't expect anything.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Love to you Blogger.

<3

Military Girlfriend Late Night - Barely Awake - Rant

Not sleeping well. I just don't want to go to bed. Nights like this remind me of my younger self who did not like going to bed on time and secretly stayed up later in rebellion. The only one I'm rebelling against is myself, which is somewhat annoying and ironic. Other than that - I'm good!

Heard from Mr. M the other morning for about 10 minutes. He's coming home for his 2 and half week break before going back for the dreaded, over 4 months, span of time, in less than a month! I am certain I will deal with it just the same as I am now. I know myself a lot better than I realized - I didn't push myself after he left. I gave myself time to be lazy at first and now I'm doing pole dancing classes every Sunday & rock climbing twice a week, plus I joined the gym this morning. ;) I'm getting some cooking lessons from my awesome auntie this Saturday. I'm actually loving life quite a bit and I do feel guilty but Mr. M is also having cool experiences, ha. I feel kind of like the odd one out sometimes because I am doing so well, but then I take a step back and look at my situation compared to the other ladies and I am different. I think I would definitely be having a much harder time if we had lived together or had a child together or were married. None of those apply though. Maybe I'm just tucking all my emotions away, unhealthy, but very effective. Whatever it is, I'm happy for it and thankful for the "me" time, even though I miss him I know there is not one damn thing I can do about it. I do have some really tough times but I guess I just don’t focus on them.

He comes home in 27 days. Wow. I’m already sad about him leaving…I just want to get this over with so we can start happy-ness! Can't wait to live with him! I go into shops downtown in the city and dream of what it will look like...

I wish he could cuddle me right now. Alright! I'm getting whiny.

This was pretty much a rant in it’s entirety. I know my sentences were awful, but it IS 2:31 in the morning now.

Ok, sleep now. Maybe…hehehe.

 

 

Much love from a sleepy TJayne who will embody Audrey in Breakfast at Tiffany's tomorrow afternoon, as she will still be in bed (and then get ready for a fabulous evening of wings!).

 

Ps. Shoutout to my sorority ladies - we need a date.

 

 

4 Days

So, I'm still in a somewhat of a denial towards the impending doom of deployment. I know it's coming, just not in the amount of days the title of this post indicates. I have so much to do before then. Sigh. Here is a list, just because I like lists:

-Pack

-Visit Family

-Time with him

I realize there are only three things, however, they are big important things. So there.

In regards to the impending doom - went out last night as a sendoff thing for the boys. Wasn't terrible actually, but that was mostly because I barely drank, while my significant other was somewhat of a lush and was tanked faster than you can say "pre-deployment anxiety". The toilet was indeed his friend by the end of the night, but no fights occurred - other than me getting slightly annoyed at the continuous drinking when I had asked him to slow it down, no harm done, though.

Blog Interrupted By:

MILITARY GIRLFRIEND RANT

I HATE MRS. ANNOYED AT DEPLOYMENT

Sometimes, I wish as a girl, we didn't experience so many odd, ridiculous, unusable feelings. They are just there and they interrupt everyday life with no regard for manners. For instance - Girlfriend says: "Talk to me, babe." Boyfriend says: "What about?" Then the crazy feelings leaps out of nowhere and say: "I don't know, just anything, you always just want to talk about movies to download to watch while you are overseas, you don't even talk to me anymore. I just want to talk, you are leaving soon and we just never talk anymore." Then you have Mrs. Confusing Sentences, Mrs. Cranky and Mrs. Annoyed At Deployment just blatantly sitting on your lap on display for the whole world to see, including poor clueless boyfriend. So, then you have to take a minute to push Mrs. Confusing Sentences, Mrs. Cranky and Mrs. Annoyed At Deployment onto the floor and then apologize to poor clueless boyfriend. All the while trying to ignore Mrs. Annoyed At Mrs. Annoyed At Deployment who is trying to climb into your lap.

THE END.

So, I need to get back to trying to pack and getting ready to go to my friend Trin's birthday dinner at a local pub tonight. Should be fun! She is a very good friend of mine who is a military fiance. Her man is going over with mine, so we are going through this together - you can read her thoughts on life.army.love.

Anyway, back to my life in the real world.

tjayne

September 30th - Birthday Day

   I did not do a birthday post yesterday, but it was in fact a 20 something birthday that I had. The day began with my Mom making the 45 minute drive to my place of living to take me out to breakfast and give me this (picture) fabulous cardigan from Aeropostale which she picked up in Bangor. My Mom is so awesome. After that I went to work where a few little ones wished me a happy birthday. Then to get ready for a small dinner with my fav girlies. While I was getting ready I had some time to reflect on my age - I realized I was trying to speed time up. Lately, I feel so young. I wonder why I'm still in this stage of my life where I feel I know nothing. I've graduated, I have a good job, I'm in a long term relationship, yet it feels like I just got out of high school, to be honest. I have a good balance of friends, married, engaged, girlfriend, and single gals. The military part of my life seems to rule though. I'll get back to this later, on with my birthday day.

One of my friends drove me to the pub in town where we sat down for drinks and appetizers, while waiting for my other gals to show. Four of my wonderful friends showed up. Good times were had.

Blog Interrupted By MILITARY GIRLFRIEND RANT -

I HATE THE PHONE

Mr. M just called, and though it was a pleasant phone conversation with little tension and lots of positivity it was a mere 6:27 long. How is that even fulfilling? HE always calls me right before bed or right before he goes to do something when he is away, therefore avoiding all possibility of more than 10 minutes of conversation. This can be a good thing as it also avoids my ranting and/or stupid fights. I should get used to the short conversations since in less then two weeks there will be no more texting or calling, as well as limited phone calls. Ok. 

THE END.

Three of us stayed in order to keep having a good time and though I only had two beer, the breath of fresh air I was feeling at that moment since I was not stumbling around trying to locate my friends in a bar was more satisfying than the aforementioned beer. Here comes the best part, and not becuase of the free drink either. The waiter brought us three our drinks we had ordered at the beginning, saying the guy at the bar had got them for us. I for one was stunned at the fact that even though I was sitting at a table, minding my own damn business, trying to have a good time with two of my best, a stupid boy had to stick his nose in. Couple minutes later said boy and friend ask to sit down at the table with us. Trin and I both look at Mrs. Jackson, since she is the married one, and the boys quickly state they are here for the band and aren't looking to cause trouble. So, we let them sit, what harmcould come from that? Not ten minutes later - So, how about some shots ladies? No thank you, we were just leaving now. We're out of there! The totally Ironic part was - they all had the same trade as Mrs. Jackson's husband, Trin's Fiance, and my boyfriend. Life lesson: All we can attract are military boys.Anyway, home and bed early for me, and I was so very glad.

Back to the military part of my life ruling - in that part of my life everyone is either engaged or married and I feel like the only one who isn't. I'm not complaining, Mr. M and I are in a good long term, happy relationship. It's hard being the "Girlfriend" in a group sometimes. Feels like you didn't make it in the super exclusive club. I know it's coming though, I'm just impatient, you know how it is.

Anyway - Night Night
TJayne

Ps. This was posted the morning after I wrote it - due to circumstances beyond my control.