Oh. M. G. - The Goal List

I feeeeeeel GREEEEAT!

I have been doing the work I promised myself I would start doing on myself and I am feeling MUCH better about the 'ol T-mo. I like her.

I am going to write these down so ya'll can hound me about doing them. Bahaha... no really.

Goal Numba 1 - Tighten it all up!

Goal Numba 2 - Accept and work on my jealous rage. (May be being a bit over dramatic on this one. It's not like I turn green and grow fangs...right?)

Goal Numba 3 - Go back to school. (and do something I should have been doing all along according to family and friends!) Cross your fingers for me. *wink*

Goal Number 4 - Have an amazing summer, full of shenanigans and love with my man and lady friends.

Goal number 5 - Work on cleaning my house. I am little more than terrible at it.

These are the top 5 poeple, think I can do it? On a couple I'm halfway through completing them.

So, I've laid it all out on the table. BAM.

On to my current social outings. I'm a huge socialite...uh no, ha ha. Recently went to the big beach about an hour and a half away from where I live. Parlee Beach, had too much and got a tan, sort of. I don't tan very well. I'm a white guuurl to the max.

Mr. M's idea of building a sandcastle.

Watched the hockey game last night at a friends since Mr. M is away, and that was a blast. Tonight I'm heading to the big Annual General meeting for my workplace, free food and really boring talks about money. It balances out. We also have a chance to win prizes. I got a coupon for a 50$ massage last year!

Friday night I'm going to a Bachelorette party for 3 ladies, 2 of them I know. Getting picked up in limo, so that should be pretty sweet.

Then Saturday going to my little sis's Grad party, second one. (divorced parents ftw.) Finally, Sunday supposed to go shopping in Bangor for a couple dresses to wear to the 4 weddings I have coming up. Already attended 1. So many this year. I suppose everyone I know is hitting that age.

Little Sis at Mom's grad party for her. So proud!

Almost have the decor booked for my wedding! Getting pretty excited. We'll hit the 1 year countdown soon. Eeeeee. Ha ha.

Ok, have to get ready for work plus bring dress and makeup to change into so I can drive straight to the hotel after work to get to AGM!

Have a beautiful day bloggers.

Much Love,

Tmo

Happy St. I havearealjobnowandcan'tdrink Day!

So, I'm a grown up now?
I went to work from 10 to 5 then a food safety course ( I make the children's snacks and prepare lunches for about 3 hours in total a day) from 6:30 to 9:30. Then came home and cleaned up a bit.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Not.

I am dissapointed in the fact I did nothing. Well, I had a glass of wine and went on twitter. That's definitely not nothing - and will also explain any grammatical or spelling errors in this post. Please forgive me.

As you know, or don't but will now, I ordered my pole finally! It arrived about 2 weeks ago and I have been practising like mad. I love it. I missed it so much, it's such amazing exercise since it works muscles throughout your entire body. Plus it makes you feel incredibly sexy, even if you don't get it for those purposes. My pole spins too, which is super fun! You can unlock it and lock it. I bought mine from: X-Pole Not to advertise for them or anything, but just a good safe pole.

Some serious business. I need some work. Some mental work. I am trying to make myself focus on me for awhile. It's not Mr. M and I. After all we have been through in the last year we are better than ever! Which is lovely, but I feel not quite right about myself. I have a lot of old issues and new issues I am having trouble dealing with. Slowly I am figuring out what they are and what I should do with them. The largest one is self-esteem, and second is jealousy. If someone says something to me I find hurtful I think about it for days and vow to fix myself. Meanwhile, if there are girls around that are prettier than me my self-esteem dips plus I go through a whole thing in my head of how Mr. M probably thinks they are so much prettier than me and wished I looked a certain way. We have been together 4 years and I should NOT feel this way anymore... but I do. That is stupid.

I just want to be as confident as everything thinks I am. Is that too much to ask?

That is quite a load of honesty. I'm contemplating posting this...as anyone can read this and I prefer certain people not to know my weaknesses. I will post this though because -

N-n-now that that don't kill me, Can only make me stronger

Bam.

Oh Kanye, you'd know alllllll about that wouldn't you?

Aren't you so excited you can rock out now, after all that negativity? Me too, me too.

Sigh.

Well, it's 1:30 am somehow. I should probably try to go sleep.

Much love to you bloggers, thanks for "listening"

Tmo

Some "He's home tomorrow" & a side of "I'm vain, F*&%"

Mr. M comes home tomorrow evening! So the house is close to being clean...RIGHT! HA! So not clean. I AM working on it though. Those close to me do not believe me, but I'm not lying. Really. Really.

Anyway! I just watched the movie Jennifer's Body with Meaghan Fox. It was actually more dark humour making fun of horror movies than scary. Which I am glad for, since I have one more night alone...dun dun duuuuhhhhh. 

I also realized today, as I was staring in the mirroir, that I am totally vain!! My mom always used to make fun of me for looking in the mirroir all the time. Mr. M does now, as well as a few friends. It's not like I'm staring in the mirroir thinking to myself -

"Oh. M. G. Look at that hot piece of ass right there. What a gorgeous human being I am. They should make a friggen statue of me. WHY HAVEN'T THEY?!"

It's more like -

"Oh. M. G. I need to tighten that thing up asap & Does it really actually look like that!? WHY HAS NO ONE GIVEN ME A PAPER BAG to put over my hideous face?!"

Ok. Well, not quite that bad. I have a lot of people call me skinny. Well, that's all good and fine, but skinny people have insecurities too. 

Well, now that I have bestowed some of my wisdom on you, you can go away a better person for knowing this.

I think I should probably go to bed. I am sorry for yelling at you.

Love to you boggers.

Tmo

In all honesty.

I'm extremely anxious about something & That's all I can say about that.

If you know, you know, if you don't you never will.

Gahhhhh.

***

On a brighter note! I am loving my crafty little self.

 Snowflake Craft I just started tonight.

2 Snowmen done of 6. I love them.

Yesterday I had a fantastic day! I hung out with two long lost sorority sistas and very good friends. My friend L. and I traveled an hour to see a dear friend in a neaby city. We attended a Remembrance Day Ceremony that was PACKED. It was awesome, we couldn't even sit down. Being a military fiance it made me so proud of him and to be in this crazy military life. <3 He he.

***

This weekend I'll be going out to my Mommy' house. She is my hairdresser and I'm in dire need.

It'll also be early Christmas on my Dad's side, since my Nan goes to Florida for the next 6ish months. So I'm pretty pumped.

It's 1:12 am. I should really go to bed. This is what happens when Mr. M goes to the field. He is there till next Thursday. So only a few more days. :)

Do you like the new look?

Button coming soon.

Goodnight Bloggers,

Tmo



Lovely Long Weekend + A Tiny Rant

Beautiful long weekend! Friday night Mr. M and I stayed at the lake and woke up to find a already super hot sunny day outside. Then off to my Mommy and her guy's annual party. They have a pool, a band, and half of my town come out. It's always a good time. Sunday was a lazy day at home for us. Monday we escaped to the beach in a city an hour and a half away with some friends. Overall, great long weekend.

In other news, I'm apparently a terrible person. For a person who does not enjoy drama or conflict I have had way too much of it lately. Over nothing. Sometimes people think they have the whole story, but they don't. I had a good laugh over the fact that I got told I "no longer talk to a friend of mine" when I do and my "fiancee is a prick" which I have never been told in my life. So, if he is, can my friends please alert me immediately. I refuse to be engaged to a prick. Who am I kidding? I love my Mr. M the Prick.

This is the last you'll hear of this, since I have moved past it rather fast and it made me laugh more than it made me mad.

However, if you do think badly of me for whatever reason don't just ignore me, at least tell me why you are.

Sigh.

Back to living happily in my non-drama life. & a 4 day work week this week! Hell ya!

By the way - I realize my last post was on the verge of being absolutely pathetic. Please forgive me. I have come to realize it's not the amount of friends you have, it's the quality. I was just used to having a crazy amount of friends.

Now off to work, then photoshoot tonight!

Love,

Tmo

I feel sad.

I have a pretty sweet life and everything is almost perfect.

Except forthe fat I have no girlie-esque friends.

I miss people.

I know, this is sad.

The rest of my life is pretty perfect.

F***.

I had some wine, that's all.

I still love life.

I just wanna dance.

Love,

Tmo

Jamaicaaaaaa

So, my life is going really quite well. It's hard for me to post on what's actually going on right now, so I won't. I will say Mr. M and I are doing great, so it's not us. We're still in love and engaged.

Moving on to happy Jamaica pictures! Yay!

It was beautiful there. Absolutly perfect.

Now time to go to work. Bleck.

Love, Tmo

*^@?$$&%^??@&^&

Flight Delayed by 24 hours.
Tomorrow night now.

Fuck.

(Sorry for the language, but I feel so very angry at this happening.)

Mr. M called me at 3:00am, being woken up at this time of night coupled with the news kind of made me cry super hard. I realized this morning my window was open. fml.

On the brighter side - It's only a day away, which is not a month or week, just a day. I can do a day. I have done over 200 days so far, What's one more?

Tmo

Breath in, breath out, breath i - OMG a fridge!!

I have a happy post now. I own a fridge! Going to pick it up on the 30th, for 200.00, down from 250.00. I haggled damnit. I am wonderwoman. Also, Checkout Dive this weekend! Oh hell yes, I feel good about myself again. I will go from this:

To this:

I am pumped, to say the least.

Going wayyyy back to this post in which I write out a list of things I want to accomplish while he is gone. Here it is -

The Deployment List

-Excersise, feel good about my body again *Check, getting back into it in May fulltime.

-Get back into scrapbooking * Only a little, there is no room in people's places, I feel in the way when I do.

-Friends! * Check! Jo's on weekends, still staying in touch with others!

-Try rockclimbing! * Check, got my lead course in it.

-Journal -so I don't go crazy. * Check, almost every night.

-Focus on the light at the end of the tunnel - Him being back, living together, and this (hopefully)not happening again. * Check, it's s close.

-Care packages for my babe! * Only one :( I hope it gets to him on time!!

I did all that, but I also did:

-Scuba Dive Course

-Pole Dancing classes

-Made memories with friends

-Gained some close friendships, some best friends that I hope to surround myself with aways, in some way!

-Began part time modeling

-Went to see an old Bff and a concert of a band I love.

-2 Bacheloette parties!

-Visited my family

-Celebrated mine and Mr. M's 3 year anniversary of being boyfriend and girlfriend.

-Had many breakfasts at our local fav

-Spent many weekends with two of my favs

-Moved out of a home I had so desperately moved into, into a newly married couple's pmq

-Finding appliances and getting ready to move into pmq on April 30th, 2010! 6 Days!

-BEEN POSITIVE, which I think is my biggest accomplishment.

-Booked a trip to Jamaica for the beau and I

This is one of those pinnacle times in my life where I am truly proud of myself. I feel great about what I am doing in my life. Sure there are speedbumps, but they are just bumps. Not giant craters in the road. I feel content. When my beau gets home I shall reach a new stage of happiness.

Cloud 10.

Goonight Bloggers, I love you.

Tmo

Sigh. I don't usually have days lately where I sit and do nothing. Today I worked from 8 til 12:30, then...nothing. I did absolutely nothing all day. Scratch that, I called to get house insurance, then did nothing all day. It's odd because I didn't like it, which I usually love to sit and do nothing. Lately I'm anxious, I have a lot to do so I shouldn't of just sat and did nothing. Barrrrrg. Also, I'll tell you a secret...I cried today. I couldn't tell you the last time I cried. My boyfriend's in Afghanistan and I can't tell you the last time I've cried, I have got to be the weirdest person I know. I just don't let myself. I'm too busy to cry. I have a headache too and I feel sick, I should really go to bed.

Ohohohoh! First - I recently went to a Hedley concert and visited my bff in Halifax! It was an amazing weekend and definitely something I needed! I bought the dress I think I'm going to wear when Mr. M comes home, which is incredibly soon! I bought a print of a painting of the Harbour for our bathroom too!

PMQ in 8 days! I am so excited, and I wasn't too stressed until today. I am having trouble finding a fridge and a stove, I'm not super worried yet though. I will survive, I've made it this far.

My mom recently wrote me a letter...it sort of scared me I guess. She talks about money issues

and how I need to be independant. How she's worried about what happened last time Mr. M and I moved in together...we broke up, but got back together a month later. It's different this time though, we are older, wiser, more mature in our arguments. Everyone fights about money, it's how you go about the fighting that matters. Ug. I need sleep.

This was a lot of complaining, I am sorry. I need sleep and a good day tomorrow then I'll give this blog a happy post.

Halloween Weekend

I went out, I did not want to go out, but I went out. I went to the Capital with some amazing people (and a bodygaurd named Robyn). The Capital was not all that bad since it isn't a club persay. Then we went to a club-club type place for about 15 minutes, and I had fun dancing but they are still terrible places. On Halloween night I went to a sorority (that I am alum in) Halloween party. We got there late enought that it had dwindled dow to very few people left. After they had convinced me to go to Sclub we waited in a line and preceeded into the crazyness that is: Freshman University Halloween Fever. Eek. Too many people there for my liking. Long Story short: Not again till my hunny is home, till then girls nights, the occasional houseparty, and a pub or two.

The truly awesome part of the weekend was the daytime hanging out with my two good friends who's apartment I inhabited all weekend. I have much love for them both. <3

I am happy...Life is good. He's gone, but even across an ocean I find comfort in his voice and words, that's all I need to remain sane. 26 weeks left.

Back to Pride and Prejudice, goodnight.

4 Days

So, I'm still in a somewhat of a denial towards the impending doom of deployment. I know it's coming, just not in the amount of days the title of this post indicates. I have so much to do before then. Sigh. Here is a list, just because I like lists:

-Pack

-Visit Family

-Time with him

I realize there are only three things, however, they are big important things. So there.

In regards to the impending doom - went out last night as a sendoff thing for the boys. Wasn't terrible actually, but that was mostly because I barely drank, while my significant other was somewhat of a lush and was tanked faster than you can say "pre-deployment anxiety". The toilet was indeed his friend by the end of the night, but no fights occurred - other than me getting slightly annoyed at the continuous drinking when I had asked him to slow it down, no harm done, though.

Blog Interrupted By:

MILITARY GIRLFRIEND RANT

I HATE MRS. ANNOYED AT DEPLOYMENT

Sometimes, I wish as a girl, we didn't experience so many odd, ridiculous, unusable feelings. They are just there and they interrupt everyday life with no regard for manners. For instance - Girlfriend says: "Talk to me, babe." Boyfriend says: "What about?" Then the crazy feelings leaps out of nowhere and say: "I don't know, just anything, you always just want to talk about movies to download to watch while you are overseas, you don't even talk to me anymore. I just want to talk, you are leaving soon and we just never talk anymore." Then you have Mrs. Confusing Sentences, Mrs. Cranky and Mrs. Annoyed At Deployment just blatantly sitting on your lap on display for the whole world to see, including poor clueless boyfriend. So, then you have to take a minute to push Mrs. Confusing Sentences, Mrs. Cranky and Mrs. Annoyed At Deployment onto the floor and then apologize to poor clueless boyfriend. All the while trying to ignore Mrs. Annoyed At Mrs. Annoyed At Deployment who is trying to climb into your lap.

THE END.

So, I need to get back to trying to pack and getting ready to go to my friend Trin's birthday dinner at a local pub tonight. Should be fun! She is a very good friend of mine who is a military fiance. Her man is going over with mine, so we are going through this together - you can read her thoughts on life.army.love.

Anyway, back to my life in the real world.

tjayne